Email to the Big Damn Hero, entitled “A Large (not really) and Hilarious Emergency”, slightly paraphrased and embellished:
I am cleaning the foyer. Things are being moved around.
I have help. Her name is Lucy. She is not so much helping as trotting along with me and supervising and stepping on things.
I have a beverage in the kitchen. I go to take a break and partake of this tasty beverage.
Suddenly, there is MUCH yelling and hollering in the front hallway. Panic ensues. I investigate.
It seems, THE WATER DISH is not where it should be. It is in THE BATHROOM. The Lucy Alarm is going off, full volume. “NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD! EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! WHOOPWHOOPWHOOOOOOOOOP!”