A Full June

Well now. Look at what the cat dragged in. I have no excuse. Honestly. I could give you some song and dance about life and all its complexity, but honestly?

  1. It’s been a busy few weeks, and
  2. I’ve had nothing useful to say.

It’s just been that kind of month. We’ve all had them. Plus, with all the… sadness and violence and crap going on in the world… I’ve been feeling sadness and anger and the need to blanketfort quite a bit. And we’ve all hear enough about that stuff, for the time being. For a lifetime, really.

So instead, my focus had been turned inward — and by that I mean I have been taking time to focus on my little life here with my house and family. And there’s been a lot to do. Continue reading

Emotional Labour and Letting Yourself Take A Break

I had a little bit of a meltdown this morning.

Nothing big, but I was feeling overwhelmed and teary. I have had a lot on my mind recently, what with trying to get life organized and getting things done in a day and keeping up with That Girl’s stuff. But more recently, things to do for myself, like health stuff.

It’s been the emotional labour that’s been hard. Continue reading

In Answer To Your Question… Not So Much.

Hullo again, good people of Teh Interwebs! It is I, the bringer of peevishness and fail!

When we last saw Our Hero, she was planning on Making A Plan. And given that that was a month ago, you may ask yourself, “Did she? DID she? DID SHE MAKE A PLAN??”

Welllllllllllllllllll… ::insert high-pitched, mostly doubtful, exhaling noise here:: Continue reading

And The Plan Is… Make A Plan

We’re trying to get back into a routine here, after almost two months of disruption, but it hasn’t been easy. There’s still so much going on.

That Girl was off, on-and-off, since the start of February, as I have mentioned. During that time we had days and weeks off school, sickness, disrupted sleep, doctor trips, cancelled appointments, missed sports classes, PD days, March Break… you name it. But at the start of last week, it looked like we were going to get back on track.

That Girl got up and went to school on Monday morning feeling ready to go. She was healthy and feeling good. She was motivated. Yay! We were back on schedule! We were going to appointments. We were getting back into a routine of therapy homework.

FOR THREE DAYS. Continue reading

Morning in the Garden of Hope and Fear

I’ve been sick all week with a cold, which That Girl suffered through last week, so I have been tired and not in the best frame of mind. Probably a little overly emotional. But definitely tired.

This morning, as I was getting myself and That Girl ready to go out and run some errands, I went to get some clothes for her to wear. I had not had the spoons to put away laundry this week, so I left a basket of folded laundry in her room to be put away, and I grabbed a shirt out of the basket for her to wear.

It was a T-shirt that she got at Christmas. It’s a size 8, a little bit big, but she’ll grow into it, goodness knows. So I told her to come over so I could roll up her sleeves. And I noticed that the cuff of one sleeve had a big hole in it. A couple of holes. Continue reading

Well, That Was Predictable.

What day is it? Wednesday? Sometime in March? You know, sometimes it’s hard for me to tell because OH YEAH, STUCK INSIDE ONCE AGAIN WITH SICK KID.

Seriously. That Girl was back to school, what, a week? And then on the weekend started coming down with yet another cold, which by Monday morning came complete with 104 fever. She’s missed two full weeks of school since February began, at least.

And if you think I am tired, you can only imagine how exhausting this has all been for her. Continue reading

Boogers. Boogers Everywhere.

So, hey. How’s it going? I was away for awhile. Because I was on BOOGER PATROL.

Once again. That Girl was sick, as often happens with the under-10 set, walking petri dishes that they are. And despite the fact that it was just a cold, this one was a bit different from past colds.

Because if you’re going to catch a cold, why not do it RIGHT, I say. No point in putting in some half-arsed effort, amirite?? Continue reading

Things That Are Wrong In My World

Things are wrong in my world, people.

Normally, I occasionally do a FAIL Friday post when it is me who is the purveyor of stupid. But today? It is other people and things, and I confess that I am just shaking my head and boggling. It makes me just want to crawl into a blanket fort with snacks and alcohol until the world rights itself again.

But I do not. Instead, I come to tell YOU, my Internets Peeps. For you understand me. Continue reading

Worthwhile

It’s cold out today. We got dumped on with snow, 10 or 15 centimetres, yesterday and overnight. It was little snow, so it accumulates, and it is light and fluffy.

Our house — most of our neighbourhood, actually — is situated at the top of a hill. A ridge, actually, if the name of That Girl’s school is any indication. Consequently, it is quite often quite windy, and on days where there’s a forecast of gusting winds, particularly so.

So on days like today, with blowing snow and wind chills, trust me when I tell you, it is pretty cold. Continue reading

Oh FFS, 2016

So, first it was David Bowie on Sunday. And now I wake up this morning to hear that the brilliant, funny, genuinely decent Alan Rickman has died. Also of cancer. Also at 69.

We are two weeks in, and so far 2016 is not impressing me. Seriously. To quote one of the brilliant peeps on my Rav LSG group, of which both Bowie and Alan Rickman are patron saints,

2016 is grounded and sent to its room, where it can sit and have a long, hard look at its decision-making.

Also, because it always bears saying… fuck cancer.

There’s a Starman Waiting in the Sky

David Bowie died yesterday, and my 16-year-old heart broke.

I remember standing in front of the stage when Bowie played Exhibition Stadium in Toronto in 1983, and I was in awe. He was dazzling, he was electric, he was riveting. He was brilliant. I had been to The Police Picnic concert a few weeks earlier, and that summer cemented how important music was in my life. I just stood there, amazed, and realized it could not get any better than this.

There’s a starman waiting in the sky
He’d like to come and meet us
But he thinks he’d blow our minds
There’s a starman waiting in the sky
He’s told us not to blow it
Cause he knows it’s all worthwhile
He told me:
Let the children lose it
Let the children use it
Let all the children boogie

That lyric is breaking me today. My heroes are slowly leaving me.

How Long Have You Lived Here (Dumbass)?

So, I have lived in Canada, and more specifically, southern Ontario, for the vast majority of my life. Let’s say 80 percent of my life, at least.

SO YOU THINK I WOULD KNOW FROM WINTER.

And yet? I have some sort of mental block that prevents me from any sort of basic fundamental knowledge of HOW WINTER WORKS. Continue reading

On the Third Day of Xmas

…Environment Canada gave to me… ice pellets and a whole lot of cold winter wind. And some snow, to be fair.

Yesterday’s weather was fairly craptacular, but I have to ask… where was the white stuff all December, huh? It would have been useful in the run-up to Christmas, if only to make me feel more festive.

Christmas has come and gone for another year, and I have to be honest: I was not feeling it. Not even remotely. There was rain and darkness for most of November AND December, and as I mentioned in a previous post, for someone like me who suffers from SAD in the dark months, I just wanted to curl up and hibernate.

So I was not feeling particularly festive. Which my long-excessive-Christmas-decoration-suffering husband can tell you, is pretty unusual. Continue reading